How to deal with anger: 6 tips from experts

Anger is a destructive emotion that often leads to aggression towards others and causes significant harm to the person under its influence. But psychologists say it is possible to overcome this flaw if you truly desire to.

Time magazine delved into the issue of anger and discussed overcoming it with Brad Bushman, a professor of communication at Ohio State University who studies the causes, consequences, and solutions to human aggression and violence. "People don't like to feel anger and rage, and they always want to get rid of them," says Brad Bushman. "But, at the same time, these emotions provide a fleeting sense of power, making it very difficult to break the habit of anger.

Psychologists say most of us don't know how to deal with anger. "It's hard for people to regulate negative emotions," says Bushman. "It's a really difficult thing to do. That's why courts send people to anger management courses - if it were easy, they wouldn't have to do it." Additionally, the scientist insists, anger significantly undermines health - it increases blood pressure and heart rate, creating problems for the heart.

So, how do you deal with this primitive and yet extremely complex emotion?

Firstly, don't "let off steam" by reinforcing the negative emotion, but try to relax as much as possible. The best way is deep, meditative, conscious breathing.

Secondly, take a time-out from communication that is bound to end in a quarrel. Tony Fiore, author of Managing Anger in the 21st Century, advises: "Sometimes running away for 10 minutes—or an hour or a couple of hours—makes a huge difference when you come back."

His colleague, Laura Beth Moss, head of the National Association for Anger Management, suggests using the 30-30-30 exercise. First, she says, take 30 seconds to exit the situation, perhaps by literally walking out of the room. Then spend 30 seconds on a set of relaxation exercises. After that, in the last 30 seconds, formulate a statement that will reduce the escalation.

Another useful tip is to start an "anger journal." Track one such situation per week, write down what happened and when, how it made you feel, and how you reacted. After a while, psychologists say, you will develop a strategy for how to think in super-emotional situations and how to respond to them.

And finally, you can always seek help from psychologists who specialize in such problems