The 4 worst types of people to communicate and negotiate with
We negotiate every day. From the moment you get up in the morning until you go to bed at night, you are preparing for negotiations: trying to find strong arguments in favor of your position and learning to defend your point of view.
Bullfrag.com writes: "In fact, our whole life is a negotiation. We agree on what to have for breakfast, who will pick up the kids from kindergarten, which project is best for the client, or how to solve a problem in the company. And, as with everything, sometimes it's easy, and sometimes it turns into a nightmare, especially if you're dealing with an intractable person."
So who is the most difficult negotiator? The one who constantly contradicts you, or the one who ignores your arguments, the one who thinks they have the best answer, or the one who doesn't respond to you? Here's a guide to the main types of these people, taken from Stephen P. Cohen's book The Practical Negotiator.
Situation 1: Ignoring
This person ignores your comments; in fact, they don't even notice you. It doesn't matter who it is, a partner, a coworker, an employee, or the office cleaner, you may need something from her, and it is very important for you to address this issue.
Tips:
- Analyze your behavior. Maybe you are shy, insecure, or introverted, or maybe it's your ego. To find out, ask your colleagues for advice, ask them if there was anything in your behavior that affected your relationship with them. This will help you understand the reason for this attitude.
- How important is it? You need to figure out how it affects your work: maybe you only need to talk to this person in exceptional cases or you can achieve your goal with the help of other people. However, it may be that she is important to your daily routine, so think about it!
- Take a moment and talk to him or her. You may not need to, but remember that the most important thing is to avoid problems at work. So, take the time to talk to this person in private. This can be a great opportunity to strike up a conversation and break the ice of misunderstanding.
Situation 2: Arrogance
Cohen calls these people "bipolar": they need everyone to agree with them, and if they don't, watch out! Such a person can throw a public tantrum, stop talking to you, or even turn colleagues against you.
Tip:
First of all, you need to understand that this is not your problem, and no matter what you do, he will behave the same way. However, this doesn't mean you shouldn't worry, as a "scandalous" person can end up causing serious problems in the team.
Situation 3: The unpleasant negotiator
Cohen describes them as unethical and unprincipled. Those who are ready to achieve anything at any cost.
Tips:
- How much do you need to communicate with such a person? If it can be avoided, see if someone else can do the unpleasant work for you, and if so, delegate to them.
- Minimize losses. If you can't get rid of this person, accept as a fact that winning in this case means only minimizing losses. The first thing you should do is to study them and find the "point" where they need you the most. This will make you indispensable, and she will be forced to accept it.
Situation 4: Experienced does not mean smart
Very often in the office you can meet people of this type - those who believe that if they are older or more experienced, they are better than you, or that they must always be right.
Tips:
- Show interest. Many of these characters are afraid of losing authority to someone younger or less experienced. Therefore, ask competent questions in a respectful tone. This will do two things: show that you are interested in what they have to say and that you respect their opinion. This will help you get your point across more quickly.
- Make him change without him knowing it. Remember that in some companies, dealing with experienced, old-timers is not easy. However, this does not mean that there is nothing wrong with them.
- Cohen recommends convincing such a person that they are the ones who propose and implement innovations, although in fact it is you who are guiding them. And if they change for the better, it will benefit everyone, and you will be happy that you have achieved your goal.